maybe the reason why tears are shed when someone dies

is that whatever they had been providing for so long will no longer be available because they are no longer around

Finally changed my blogskin after 2349012 years. I guessed I got sick of seeing pink all the time. Holy grail. (I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THAT WORD SUDDENLY POP UP IN MY MIND)

OKAY CURRENTLY TRYING TO BLOG AND DO LIT AND OSU. BUT I AM FAILING?? LOL AS EXPECTED. OKAY CIP TOMORROW I AM SO EXCITED. :D THERE'S LIKE $20 + FREE VOUCHERS + FREE MEAL + FREE TSHIRT & OH NOT TO MENTION CIP HOURS!! OKAY I THINK I SOUND VERY AUNTY NOW BUT DON'T JUDGE LA K HAHAHSDKJFNADFNA I MEAN HONESTLY THIS KIND OF DEAL VERY HARD TO COME BY DE YO!!!

Urm k shuqin enough of hyper-ing about free stuff.

Anyway anyone remembers this post? Actually I doubt anyone did (like does anyone even read this space of mine??) Nawh it's okay shuqin one day someone will stumble upon this piece of crap. Idek why I am talking to myself?! But it's okay I am used to it. :(

Me: I need to stop talking to myself
Me: I know right
Me: I mean like seriously, it gets so irritating
Me: Haha
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: Lol

Back to it, so I am finally continue-ing the post after like 7 months. WHOOPS IT WAS POSTED DURING APRIL? & whoops the last line was like "alright shall continue with this tomorrow~ :)" but I never did. //shoots self 

Okay so here is it:

Save more $$$.
I have no freaking idea how my pocket money depletes so fast. Like seriously. I can spend up to $30 a day? Even during normal school days. & I REALLY DO NOT KNOW WHY. ...!!!!!!!! I guess I need to be more careful when spending money lor. But tbh, my school food is damn expensive?! One bowl of rice is around $2.50. Then some more is not those kind which will make you full. The portion is like quite little okay nevermind SHAN'T COMPLAIN. So honestly I need to figure a way how to save money so I wouldn't be a spendaholic (is there even such a word ha ha) when I grow up yeah. 

Stop having the dkdc lifestyle.
Honestly I think my life is full of "idc"s, I feel so restless 101% of the time. Can't concentrate, can't focus. When I hear someone badmouth me (?? last time??) l will obviously feel agitated duh, I mean who wouldn't. Haha but after a while I will just be like "orh k badmouth then badmouth lor" THEN MOSTLY I TALK I WILL JUST GIVE THE BOCHUP ATTITUDE, LIKE END EVERYTHING WITH "LOR" "fail then fail lor" "idk anything lor" "up to you lor" "like this lor" "huh nevermind lor" YES YOU GET IT. Thinking back now, it's quite irritating, but I can't be bothered to change it OMG HAHAHA JOKING thus I shall try to be a person with better focus!! /insert motivational quote here/

Okay I am too lazy + tired to continue (oh god this sounds damn ironic wtf) shall continue this ... one day so yezzzz ending off soon. Oh yeah anyway my CO camp photo post will only be uploaded when I receive the photos taken from -idkidc-'s DSLR. Hahaha, & oh next post will be something requested by someone okay this is damn gay but oh well asdfghjkl BYE :D

it sucks, lol

when everything is fine

but suddenly, it all crashes again

& the worst part is

you have to try & patch everything

back together again

even if you don't wish to

I guess that I forgotten I had a choice

are you even aware of what you make me feel

ALOHA. So CO camp is finally overrrrr, & tbh I really enjoyed the past 2 days. Sorry for not blogging yesterday, was so tired I knocked out immediately when I got home. Of course I watched Disclosed first lah. OH DID I MENTION THE LAST EP SUCKS?! WTF. IT WAS LIKE SO SUDDENLY, THEN SO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTION. IRRITATING SIAH. Kk back to it, this would be like the first & last CO camp comm'13 is going to plan together, & it's rather sad. :-( But it's quite heartening to see the members enjoying themselves. :D ( .. i hope so) 

Anyway Day 2 was Amazing Race! Frankly speaking, I preferred Day 1, the Station Games. But maybe it was because my stations were more fun in Day 1. :P So we had some delay in the morning which got everyone a bit annoyed because we had to drag the whole thing. Caroline, Felyn, PingXuan, & me stayed in the CO room and we helped to conduct the mass game. Hehe it was damn fun I swear!! Played Wacko & Blow Wind Blow. Wanted to play H2O but we didn't had time .. Caroline & PingXuan joined in the game while me & Felyn lead the CO, hahaha. 

Then the Amazing Race was finally settled, & the members got into their groups blahblahblahblah, I was in the same station as Caroline! Talked about stuff + camwhore-d (typical me yo) Btw we failed quite badly in making the station fun for the first 2 groups because we had the charades + this stupid rubber band game suggested by me. AHAHAHAHA whoops. Actually could tell the groups were very bored lah, until we decided to change the game & changed the rubber game into some singing song game, spicing up the atmosphere .. by a bit more. 

After Amazing Race, everyone gathered in the CO room. Then because my POP slides got some problem, so everything got delayed again. LOLLOL. Let the CO members talk among themselves, & finally managed to settle the slides after a frustrating 40 (??) minutes sorting it out with Benny, Brandon and ZhiYi. Had POP with like 30 pizzas? Ate like 3 slices yolo, but some people wtf they 5 people take 3 boxes!! Tsk. But oh well moving on, had the passing on ceremony & I was the photographer but I think I take very fail photographs. Hash tag I tried. Spend the entire week worrying about whether HuiHui will like the present I got for her a not, & I AM SO HAPPY SHE LIKED IT. :D AHAHAHAHA. 

Had water bombs after POP. ^_^ Was really memorable & fun!!!!!!!!! But quite tiring for those people in charge of the water bombs because if I am not wrong, around 4 people tied 1500 water balloons? Plus the comm had to clean up the plastic bags left lying around after the "fight".Thankfully some members came & help us picked them up. XD

Got the members to change, wash up, etc and wait for the Top 3 to debrief them before everyone gets dismissed. The comm stayed behind to talk for a while (for me, it's just another photo taking session hoho) & to decide on where to eat. For like 30 minutes, we were choosing a location for our dinner. LOL IDK WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO SETTLE ON A PLACE. Finally I just suggest I12 then yeah headed there lor. Ate at Cafe Cartel. :-) Quite cheap ley actually, because got buy 2 get 1 free promotion. HAHAHA. Headed home after dinner. At that point of time, it was already like 8:40pm. & I KNOW I CONFIRM WILL MISS MY 9PM SHOW T_T SO I VERY SAD. Kk, that was totally irrelevant. Hmm took bus 31 with Johnny Wongwong (k I meant Jonathan) then ya reach home at around 9:50pm? & then I just sua nvm I rather go iriscable.com watch the full ep at one go then watch the last 10 mins. Went to bath, watched the ep 19, scrolled through my Twitter & Insta feed, & finally slept. 

THAT WAS BASICALLY MY DAY YESTERDAY. AHAHAHAAHAHA. Okay photos up in next post! :)

Because

I was left to cry there

Waiting outside there 

Grinning with a lost stare 

is it better to be loved or to be feared

Oh god I am so tired. 2 more days of this week left. :-( Today was really busy. Been up since 6am, & only managed to settle down at around 8:30pm.

Actually today was quite fun. Hehe, took care of 2 stations. "Honey, I Love You" with Brandon, & ZhiYi. "Drip Drop Drip" with Heiman. Both was damn fun. But drip drop drip was damn tiring I swear. Ran from the toilet to the venue with the FULLY-FILLED pail for like 8 times. Damn my arms. ;-; Honey, ILY was damn retarded lah I swear. IDEK WHY I CAME UP WITH THE IDEA. AHAHAHA facepalm self. But luckily some members of the group were enthusiastic enough, which makes the game more hyped up. :-) & special thanks to the first 2 groups for bearing with us, as the game was damn fail because we totally took them as a pre-run group. :P

Overall the games were enjoy-able. Although I was dead beat at the end of drip drop drip, but I was damn happy seeing the members enjoy the game lah. :D Honestly the way the members in the groups worked together to race against time was really like, wow kk they were quite bonded okay. Then for Honey, ILY, it was really hilarious like mad. Freaking funny, I laughed until last warning, & I wonder how some people managed to keep a poker face throughout the game. XD

After the games ended, Jasmine, JiaYing, & Shuqing came to spray me & Heiman with water cooler water. >:( Then Caroline, & PingXuan joined us. Haha in the end we were running around, spraying each other with water. Chased Jasmine all the way from concourse block to innosphere. Nvm good workout. HAHAHA. Had debrief, & something minor happened which caused come people to quarrel but oh well, hopefully it's resolve now! :-)

Headed to Paya Kopitiam for dinner with Benny, Gordon, Jonathan, Yongler, & Zhiyi! The queue for my dinner was so long that by the time the uncle asked for my order, Benny, Jonathan, & Gordon had already finished their food. T_T

Just some photos took today. More to be uploaded soon! :D

group photo with the last group yey

while waiting for lunchhhhh.

taken during the first game. :D

HAHAHAHAHA hashtag we tried

while the members are playing drip drop drip!

Okay ending here, goodnight. ^_^

“The thing I’m most afraid of is me. 

Of not knowing what I’m going to do. 

Of not knowing what I’m doing right now.”

11 months of 2013 gone.

& I felt that all I had done this year was to disappoint people, & more people

This week was so busy. Oh god. The worse part is, it's not even Friday yet! Damn. There's CO camp tomorrow & Thursday. As expected, there's no overnight. .. Kind of disappointed but oh well at least there's a camp! :D (trying to be positive but failing lor)

Anyways had a great day out today ^_^ Although I spend like $50+ :x Went shopping for POP stuff & finally after a looooong search, found something that Hui Hui //might// like. XD Haha. Met Darilynn, Heiman, & JiaYing in the morning where we went & surprise Annabel for her birthday at Swensen! :D HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNABEL. HEHE.

Annabel's bdae surprise!! 

 Idk why everyone looks so awkward here. 

 Meh.

Headed to Bugis with Darilynn, Heiman, JiaYing, for lunch. Then around 1pm, FangYing joined us & we caught a movie! Went to Bugis Street after the movie, brought quite a lot of stuff. :O Brought HuiHui's POP present, new skin cover for my phone (quite chio okay), & hair extension. Went to popular after that & I brought correction tape. AHAHAHAHA. Then mum asked me to stop by T1 for JCO donuts, so yep basically spend $50 for the whole day. Sobs.

Chio hor!! Okay I know my photography skills sucks, but whatever lah aiyoh.
Plus it's like rotated.
BUT I AM LIKE LAZY TO ROTATE IT BACK.
So whatever. Heh.

Damn long lah k, to my dearest bel. Machiam write essay like that. :P

Girls do what they do best - camwhore

Taken today. Heiman your face, plz maintain.

Throwback to long time ago lor, 

LYCO outing. :D

Act yi xia.
Oh & Gordon's face is forever that expression in photos, I swear.

Quite funny ley this meme, done by Jonathan

HAHAHAHA, dk why I like laughing at myself.

Whoops.

... urm k zhanau

... trying to be macho

... with waterbottles

... stolen from co room

Oh this was damn asshole. Because there was like this very high platform.
Then everyone like jumped down from it. Except for me!!! Hey please it's like so high
& I am wearing a skirt okay haehae.
So I tried sliding down lor. & I got stuck. ._. Then Jonathan wah.
Instead of helping me, he go stand behind me post with the photo.
Tsk, see this kind of friend. So yep. Origin of this photo. HAHAHA.

Okay shall end off now. Time to sleep. Hope CO camp will be a sucess tomorrow. Nights. ;-)

i love those mornings

when i wake up 

& my mind is clear

when i forgot what i was thinking

of for the whole night

when those thoughts finally leave

me alone 

that 3 seconds of pure blissfulness

... before reality slaps me hard

Life.

ALOHA. OKAY I AM LIKE SO TIRED NOW BUT I AM HYPER. AHAHAHAHAHA K NVM T_T Didn't managed to catch the 9pm show today. Sad right!!! Reached home at around 9:40pm, & since there was only 20mins of the show left, I decided that I rather watch the whole episode on my phone SO YEP I DIDN'T WATCH IT. LOLLOL. So today was quite fruitful?? Went out with Annabelle, Benny, & Gordon to discuss CO Camp stuff + POP shopping. Hahaha. Was pretty productive, but tiring.

AMOUNT OF STUFF BROUGHT, GASPS

group photo yayyerz

Went to Bishan in the morning to meet ReiYin to pass her her SS textbook because I took it home by accident. Oh ya & otw there I met Heiman! Haha then I went to Bishan CC to buy Starbucks, but when I reached there I decided to save money so I went back to J8. HAHAHA. Met Annabelle at Bishan MRT then we went to Parkway together. Benny waited for us for 1 hour. LOLLOL SORRY. K then went Subway to eat lunch + discuss about the camp stuff. Blahblahblah, at around 5+pm, we headed to Daiso to buy the camp stuff yay!!!! Then we went to this convenience shop to buy our miscellaneous stuff, & we met JeeChong, Marcus, Ms Koh, Ms Lu, & WanXin. HAHAHA LOL. Gordon, JeeChong, Marcus, & Ms Koh then cabbed back to school to put the stuff because it was already like 8pm?? Then Annabelle, Benny, & me went to Food Republic to eat, while Ms Lu & WanXin headed home. After that it was already like 9pm so my dad came & fetch me ohoho & YEPZ I JUST REACHED HOME LOR. HAHAHAHAHAHA. KK SO BASICALLY THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TODAY. YAY!!!!!!! OKAY LOL I AM HIGH NOW.

Had strictly pancakes for lunch yesterday, hehehe. Went with Chelsea, Gordon, Sabrina, Yongler, & Zhanau! Ate what-a-spread. $11++ BUT IT WAS LIKE DAMN FILLING LAH, & SUPER SWEET. It was quite worth the money, although the next time I got I will share the meal with someone else.

my lunch ehehehehe

group photo!!!!!!!! :D i know i am not looking at da camera but whateva

Omega, Yongler, & Zhanau was totally complaining how sweet it was, & how they can't finish it. Whereas Gordon was happily enjoying it. Then we were all laughing at how gay it was. AHAHAHAHA BUT I KNOW GORDON'S NOT GAY LAH. SO YEAH. LOL. The boys were like trying to stuff down the pancakes, in the end Yongler went out for a walk because he couldn't take it anymore. When he came back he was like telling us that he is going to jog 5km when he get home to get rid of the amount of calories he consumed that day because of the pancake, which is damn funny lah wtf. Still got other stuff which is bloody hilariuos but I forgotten them heh. OH I REMEMBER GOT ONE WAS WHEN I TRIED TO VIDEO OMEGA (who was complaining about the pancake). But I didn't realized my camera flash was on. So Zhanau like asked me why am I taping Omega, then I scolded him for ruining my plan of //secretly// filming Omega. & he was like: "Urm I think he knows you are filming him .., because your camera flash is on." & I WAS LIKE OH SHIT. AHAHAHAHA THEN I WAS TOTALLY EMBARRASSED OKAY, & CHELSEA WAS LAUGHING LIKE MAD.

Alright then I shall end here, wow I finally blogged after so long. I AM PROUD OF MYSELF. LOL. Okay update soon ;-) (although I highly doubt so HAHAHA)

i hope you're happy

I have this weird obsession with washing my hair lulz

Breaking news: IT'S CURRENTLY 4AM & I CAN'T SLEEP ASDFGHJKL

Here's my face in case anyone missed me:

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Well I want to be a graphic designer when I grow up. But to do so I guess I have to enter Poly instead of JC. Which is like a nono from my family. LOL. Bloody judgemental parents and bloody judgemental relatives and bloody judgemental older generation people. Idk what's the big deal of going to a Poly instead of a JC. Like what?? Just because Poly fares are more expensive the JC fares? Or is it because Poly is kind of like a "neighbourhood school" where "bad kids" go to? Wow I really don't get adults sometimes. 

I know it's more difficult to get to University when one enters Poly & that the degree from a Uni holder far outweighs the degree from a Poly holder. The 2 different routes are: Olevels > Poly (expensive) > Uni/Work or Olevels > JC (cheap) > Uni (expensive) > Work. So technically it will be the same just that if I go Poly I have to pay the money earlier so the money ... does it really matter that much?! 

Wanted to be a blogger / teacher / wedding planner but I realized all of these are just interests, they aren't going to take me far in life, ..

OKAY IDEK WHY AM I HAVING SO DEEP THOUGHTS WHEN I AM ONLY LIKE .. 15?

I CAN'T STAND IT WHEN PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE ALWAYS CORRECT. ESPECIALLY ADULTS. It's really a turn off until cannot turn on. Cannot even find the switch to turn it on. LOL ANNOYING MUCH? How they think just because the younger generation doesn't rebut back means that they can shoot their damn mouth off at them. How they think that they are always correct & whatever they do is simply just "oh it's just for your own good yo". How they think that being older means they can say stuff which hurts your pride, hurts your self esteem, & still think that it's okay. Because no. NO. It's not okay. It's just plain revolting. Really. Shut up. Age is just a number. Hashtag just saying.

& let me get this straight - I don't freaking care even if you are my elder because hey if you want to be respected, you have got to make yourself DESERVED to be respected. Period. I know I am dumb & gets easily distracted & have a bad attitude & lazy & stubborn & stupid & rude & blahblahblablablab //goes on to list 1001 things I have memorized by heart about all those stuff I heard about me// but you know what? Just because a kid does something that an adult disapprove of, DOES NOT mean what the adult did after that (eg: hitting/scolding the kid in public, making a scene) is correct. It does not mean that when a kid is rude, an adult will have the RIGHTS to slap or shout at them, thus, embarrassing the kid, in public. Nope, it does not mean what the adult did was correct too.

Oh plus apparently some people just can't understand I am not a genius I can't get straight As. Okay I am not complaining or anything for the last point but seriously. Urgh, kk shall make full use of my holidays then. 

Oh on a side note, I am heading to China from 7 Dec to 17 Dec. EXCIted hah hah not. I don't mind lah, but I just find the duration a bit too .. long.

Btw asking my parents for tuition is like asking for death sentence like that LOL. That's why "I don't like" tuition. But I know myself & I know I only work best under pressure, & that I need to have someone behind constantly pushing me (wah make me sound like I have no backbone) & seriously without tuition, I would just potate at home everyday after school.

CCA tmr & tbh I am not //exactly// look forward to it. The "CO IS SO SIAN" phrase in my life is not over yet. Argh. New teacher coming in tomorrow. Hope she will be good & that huqin standard will improve because seriously right now CO standard is just like. //neighs// K lah I know I also not very good lah, so I have no rights to complain lor. Plus my passion for CO is also dying liao lor (because of some stuff ahem clears throat) but honestly I just wished the best for my CCA like really it used to be so fun & everything but I really do not know what happened because right now I am not looking forward to it as much as I used to 2 years back. Sobs aggressively.

Did nothing productive today, all I did was laze around & watch my dramas. Currently watching Disclosed (Channel 8), The Heirs (Celine's Recommendation), & Master's Sun. Disclosed is like showed every weekday on Channel 8 @ 9pm, whereas The Heirs comes out only every Thursday & Friday. Very guailan right!!!!!! I was totally like: " R U KIDDING ME L O L" when Celine told me that. So I watch Master's Sun while waiting for the episodes to air. ;; Because it's like the only new drama where all the episodes come out already. Sian right haha but all three shows are not bad. 

Especially Master's Sun, it's like a must watch. ;-) Kind of unique because it's horror + comedy + romance. & this makes it stand out from other shows because like plz first time I see got horror but still got comedy in a drama series ley!!! Cool right. Disclosed is about crime & thriller & blahblah. Not really hooked on it yet but I find the chemistry between Jesseca Liu & Terance Huang great?? Haha okay idk. 

I don't really like watching romancy type of shows (I guess I am not so of a lovely dopey person) because I find it retarded that those kind of shows are very predictable. Like this popular Guy A fall for this poor girl then suddenly baaaaam childhood friend of the girl appears & fight with Guy A for the girl then somehow Guy A get engaged to another girl because the mum/dad/bro/sis/grandpa/grandma/cat/dog/maid disapprove of the relationship and babaduuuums. Haha I have no idea why I am watching The Heirs because there's like a freaking love triangle in it asdfghjkl. MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE THE CASTS R SHUAI. *-* K.

Alright shall head to sleep now, have to do Chem Periodic Table Worksheet tomorrow. Slacked enough for the day! Hehe.

"At least I can lose weight for free

But you, my dear

Requires at least ten thousand dollars 

To fix that face of yours."

olevel tomorrow heehaw

chinese olevel in less than 24 hours time .. I AM SO NERVOUS ASDFGHJKL ok bye lol blog soon xoxo