Oh I swear to you,

When I first heard people cut. I thought it was strange, & I didn't know how people could put harm on themselves like that. Then I picked up the blade. 

I get it now.

School's reopening in one weeks' time. SAY WHAT?! I didn't even finish my homework, lollol. Needless to say, I have not even started any revision. *inserts laughing with tears emoji here* Ohwell, life goes on. Going to just slack this last week away then concentrate on my studies in Term 3. ((LIES)) Feeling muchmuchmuch better after typing out this post & disappearing from SNS for a day! Advice to my readers: Whenever you feel down, just take a day break from the world & sort out your thoughts. I guarantee that will feel tons better after that~

Monster University tomorrow with LYCO! Then class BBQ on Thursday. :D Excited.Whee~ Okay shall just have some picture #throwbacks & #updates on my life haha.

//idk why i just like posting old photos lol okay perhaps it's nostalgic??//

Clarissa, FangYing, JiaYing, & me;
When we were Sec One I guess.
Wah look at my face, cmi siah.
HAHAHAHAHA.

Amelia & me during our clique outing last year.
I miss my Sec 2 clique lah.
ASDFGHJKL.
I looked like I am peeing.
Heh.

3IT'13 ♥
At first, when I heard that my new class has 38girls & only 4 boys.
I was like.
"Win liao lor, confirm the bitchiest class lah."
But the people inside are totally nice,
& far from "bitchy".
Love my class. :')

PeeMak on Monday!
Where are my eyes.
T_T

NEW WALLET.
Photo up as promised. ;)
It is hot pink inside ohmygod megalove lah.

Okay last photo, haha.
In school,
On the day of the SYC rehersal.
Conant thought the background was haze.
Lol no, it is the rain.
Bwahahaha.

I'll be there for you

Because you wrote
I wish you were her
You left out the e
You left without me

I hate you why are guys so lame

So yea, it's just one of those nights where everything come rushing in at once. Those nights when bad thoughts, bad feelings, horrible flashbacks, horrible memories, the inevitable things all come bombing in.

I miss you so bad, but at the same time. I swear I hate you so damn much too. If you're gonna start talking to me, obviously I'm gonna get attached to you. Why the hell is it so easy for people to walk in & out of my life whenever the heck they wish to. Do you think I wanna be attracted to you? Lol no. But idek how it began, how it started. But I just did. Don't bloody start a convo & leave me hanging. Like it was nothing, like I was nothing. Like we were nothing. Thanks for walking out of my life, right after you walk right into it. If you aren't gonna complete what you started my dear, what for start it in the first place?

Is it because I am that easy for everyone to leave whenever they feel like it? Or is it because I am a perfect spare tire, whom everyone talks to when they're bored? Or maybe is it because I am always there for everyone?, sending everyone notes, the homework list, helping everyone do stuff, being the punching bag whenever you all want me to?

I am tired. Tired of caring, sometimes it's hard to be everyone's "friend" you know. Not claiming that I am popular, but it's hard. Really hard. No one will ask you to hang out because they always assume that you are with someone else, it's difficult. Difficult to be the person who knows everybody, but is friends with nobody. I am idiotic enough to think that you would feel guilty over this. Feel as horrible as what I felt. Silly me, obviously you didn't. A close friend of mine once said, "When you wanna gain something, you will have to lose something." What if I am selfish? I don't want to lose anything. But now, I truly understand. I see the bigger picture. I wss given a chance, but I lost it.

Damn, what a fool I was. I could have treasured it. But I didn't. Regretting can't do anything now. I just can't stand seeing people get hurt, I'm sorry. It doesn't matter how badly people treat, people insult, people play me, I will always be the one giving in. Because I am Ms Nice. I am always Ms Nice.

Adey said, Ms Nasty will live with guit for the rest of her life. Perhaps that's the reason why I can't be Ms Nasty, it's better for me to accept some facts, smile & pretend everything is alright, that nothing is hurting me. But is it possible for me to have a second chance, a second chance to make everything right again? & this time, I am never ever giving it up.

"Envious?" Yup, perhaps I am. On a harsher tone. Jealous. Jealousy, it is unavoidable, this little green monster sets out to kill a little of everyone, everyday. How can you get rid of this monster? Problem is you can't. Just like those monsters under your bed, those demons in your heart, those voices in your mind. You have to learn to live with it. That's what I am doing now. I wish that I can be truly happy, for once.

Am I happy? Somehow, I guess I am. I go to a school I am proud to be in. I have friends of different personalities. I go out with people. I tell jokes, I laugh at things. But at night, when the voices start whispering all sorts of things to me. This is when I start thinking. Am I truly that happy? Those nights where I just lie on my bed & question everything I ever had. Do I even deserve to be happy? There is always this horrible, useless, unwanted feeling I have in my stomacg, & it sicken me to the core. No matter how much I laugh or smile or joke about life in the day, all these empitiness of what I hid during the day would come crashing down at me at 3am in the night. & all I could do is to think about all those chances I wasted, all the things I could have done, all the stuff I could have say. But all I do is replaying those conversations in my head, & making up perfect scenarios that would never happen.

Sometimes we’re lonely,
sometimes we’re down,
Our feelings are obvious,
they’re right in our frown.

We don’t want to talk,
or sit and explain,
Nobody would like it,
if they felt the same pain.

Guess what? ZhengDong made this poem for me. (Okay not exactly, it was more of for his friend but urm I was sad too thus yea he sorta of dedicated it to me) It's nice to see people caring. Thanks for caring. Yeap Ethan, Gordon, Huiru. I promise to be okay. Iwill be okay.

"come back soon @iamshuqin"

Yeah I am coming back soon.

I wish my soul will come back soon too.

You are the only one capable of making me feel so pathetic.

"When I look at you I see this perfect person; Then there's me, this weird crazy person with all these problems & I don't see how you chose me. But please, just. Stay."

HELLO. So yes I am back! Hahahaha. It's already 21 days into June. Wow. One more week more & July's gonna start. ASDFGHJKL CHINESE OLEVEL ORAL OHMYGOD. This have been an eventful month I guess, with so many things happening. One such thing is: THE HAZE. It is getting from bad to worse, & it's kinda saddening because it's messing up my jogging plans.

Hmm so yeah I didn't really revise anything during the holidays ((so much for my mugging resolution)) HAHAHAHA. 

Caught two movies this week!! PeeMak & Now You See Me. TBH, I RATHER REWATECH PEEMAK THAN NOW YOU SEE ME. Yes, that's how good PeeMak is. Nothing much interesting happen bah.

Kk so shall just briefly say what happen on that two days lor because if not my blog like so boring. Ahahahaha. I shall like make it a different color to make it look more appealing yeah I am a genius thanks.

Monday

So I watched PeeMak on Monday?? Haha at first it was like 1.30pm meet at Tampines Mac, but 1.35pm I am still at home. LOL. Okay like expected of me, then that Huiru still on her bus 28. Tsk. So I hurried there because Clara Tang reached already & I REACHED BEFORE HUIRU DUMDUMDUM HAHAHAHAHA. Reached at around 1.45pm? So I took only 10minutes to get there yay proud of myself! Okokay so yeah we ate then ZiYang came & at around 2.30pm we went up to buy the ticket for the 3.10pm show. Me, Clara Tang & Huiru went arcade & sat this Zombie Ride thingy, then ZiYang wanted to like see what we were doing so he went & sort of lift up the curtain thingy I guess & I PANIC BC I THOUGHT HE WAS SOME ZOMBIE HAHAHAHA THEN I GO HIT HIM HAHAHAHAHAHA it was bloody funny lah can, Clara Tang & Huiru were laughing like siao. Then we went in the theater at around 3? Played funrun till the movie started & watched the movie (which is freaking nice I give it a 10/10) After the movie Huiru had to rushed home so I went a different way from Clara Tang & ZiYang because awkwardness woohoo SO BASICALLY YES THE END.

Wednesday

The movie starts at 11.50am. I woke up at 11.06am. HAHA, oh what's new. Thank godness this time round the venue is near my house, or else it would turn into another "2LY mini reunion disaster" (Well, that day we were like supposed to meet at Vivo at 1.15pm. Guess what; I woke up at 12.45pm. HAHA. So I din watch the movie in the end lor.) Then okay I hurried & rushed there. Reached at around 11.40am & TURNS OUT I AM THE FIRST. Whoa okay thanks LiewLiew & WoonWoon. Was practically rushing them to faster come. Brought the movie tickets + the popcorn & we managed to make it in time yay. Went to Bugis after the movie & met Benjamin ahahaha. Shopped around & half the time was waiting for Celine to make life changing decisions such as "OMG SHOULD I BUY THE CAT SHIRT", "THIS SKIRT IS NICE BUT IT'S TOO SHORT SHOULD I BUY IT", "IS THIS CROP TEE NICE SHOULD I BUY IT OR SHOULD I BUY THE PULLOVER" oh and also waiting for Woontin to choose her earrings (which she din buy in the end, tsk) okay & like waiting for me to choose my wallet because I was taking forever to choose which wallet should I take HAHAHAHA. Like seriously there is this hot pink one, when opened it's damn colourful; then there is this tiramisu colored, when opened it's hot pink SO YES DILEMMA LAH - I went with the tiramisu colored in the end. Although it was 5 bucks more. Sobs. Hmm headed to Subway for dinner & took the train back home.

The end okay that was wordy lol thanks people for reading it haha.

As the saying goes, "#Gemini do not feel the need to be on time unless it is completely important & necessary." STORY OF MY LIFE.

Hope that I can watch World War Z with LYCO next week! Hehe. Okay shall go & do my emaths TYS. Damn please let me complete by this week. :(

Okay I shall go & finish up the 1st June post; YES THE POST WHICH BLOGGER DELETED. ZZZ. Alright I have no idea what else to say so urm till then everyone. xoxo 

Huehuehue.

Reasons To Save Up

MY WISHLIST

Colour Pens

FBTs

Hair Chalk

Helix Piercing
Hoodies
Nail Polish 

((yes just some random post in my phone which is gonna be forgotten one day later))

#AttemptNumberOneToMakeMyBlogAlive

1 Nickname(s) : Jingles

.

2 Original Eye colour: Brownish-black

.

3 Blood type : O+

.

4 Male or Female : Female

.

5 Birth Date :  1st June 1998

.

6 Elementary School: Tampines Primary School

.

7 Secondary School : Chung Cheng High School (Main)

.

8 College :  -hopefully- VJC

.

9 Original Hair Color : Hazelnut Brown I guess

.

 10 Overall or Tops : Tops

.

11 Shorts or Jeans : Shorts?

.

12 Phone or Camera : Phone

.

13 Health or freak : Health

.

14 Orange or Apple :  Apple

.

15 Do you have a crush on someone : Got over him

.

16 Have you cry over a girl/boy : Yep

.

17 Broken Bones : Fractured ankle

.

18 100plus or Coke : 100 plus

.

19 Been in an airplane : Twice

.

20 Been in a relationship : Meh

.

21 Been in a car accident : Not really

.

22 Been in a fight : Catfight?

FIRSTS & LASTS:

23 First broken bone : No

.

24 Best friends:  Allyson/Igxus (kinda ironic how I don't even keep in contact with them now)

25 First Award :  Some family event #swaggielicious

.

26 First crush : Forgotten his name; When I was 6. Hah.

.

28 First phone : Nokia

29 Last person you texted : Gordon

30 Last person you talked to : JiaYing

32 Last food you ate : Chicken Burger

33 Last movie you watched : Pee Mak

34 Last song you listened to : You're Not Sorry - Taylor Swift

35 Last thing you bought : Movie Tickets

36 Last beverage : Milo

37 Last phone call : Two hours ago?

FAVORITE:

38 Favorite Sports : Running

39 Bottoms : Pastel Colours

40 Flower : Dope

41 Animal : Wolfs

42 Colors : Hot Pink

43 Movie : Comedy

44 Subject : 

HAVE YOU EVER: (Put an X in the brackets if yes)

45. [x] Fallen in love with someone.

46. [] Celebrated Halloween. 

47. [xx] Had your heart broken.

48. [x] Went over the minutes/texts on your cell phone.

49. [x] Had someone like you.

50. [x] Been to LAN.

51. [x] Got lost in a shopping mall. 

52. [] Went to a disco.

53. [x] Did something you regretted. 

54. [x] Broke a promise. 

55. [x] Hid a secret. 

56. [xxx] Pretended to be happy.

57. [x] Met someone who changed your life. 

58. [x] Pretended to be sick. 

59. [] Left the country, for a trip

60. [x] Tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it. 

61. [x] Cried over a little thing. 

62. [x] Ran a mile.

63. [] Went to the beach with your best friend.

64. [x] Got into an argument with your friends. 

65. [] Disliked someone

66. [] Stayed single for 4 years since the first time you had a boyfriend/girlfriend.

CURRENTLY:

67. Eating : Waiting for food

68. Drinking : Nothing?

69. Listening to : Mum nagging

70. Sitting/Laying : Sitting

71. Plans for today : Survive

72. Waiting : For you to reply me lol

YOUR FUTURE:

73. Want kids : 4.

74. Want to get married : Yeah?

75. Career/Business : Wedding Planner. (for now)

BOY/GIRL FRIENDS IN FUTURE: 

76. Lips or eyes : Eyes

77. Shorter or taller : Taller

78. Romantic or spontaneous : Spontaneous

79. Lively or Emotional : Lively?

80. Older or younger: Older

81. Hook-up or relationship : Relationship

82. Looks or personality : Looks, then personality. (oh please, admit it. who the heck looks at personalities first.)

HAVE YOU EVER:

83. Lost specs/contacts : Broke Specs

84. Run out of a house : Sneaked out

85. Held a knife for self defense : Ruler

86. Killed somebody : In my dreams

87. Killed an animal : Insects

88. Broken someone's heart : Guess so

89. Cried when someone died : Who doesn't?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

90. Yourself : Nawh.

91. Miracles : Yep

92. Love at first sight: Nope

93. Heaven : Maybe?

94. Santa Clause : He owed me 15 years worth of presents

95. Aliens : o.O

96. Ghosts/Spirits : Freaky

97. God : Yeah; I am a freethinking though

98. What you believe in : What's meant to happen, will happen

99. Is there one person you really want to be with right now : You

100. Do you know who your true friends are : Kind of.

On second thoughts:

WHY THE HECK AM I DOING THIS?! 

WAH DAMN I JUST REALIZED MY BDAE POST GOT DELETED ZZZZZZ ANNOYING SHIT

Wake Up, Survive, Sleep

Oh overthinking kills.

Well, nothing interesting much had been going around lately. 

But idk?  

Just feel the need to update this space, lol.

& I have no freaking idea why am I typing in this format.

LOLLOL.

Went out with Joyce & FangYing yesterday. :)

Foodcourt > Bugis Street > Drama Night > KFC

Great -but I wouldn't say it's fun- Day. :)

Brought Instax Films & a maroon colored Short! 

Hahaha.

 Currently playing fun run
 (username: iamshuqin)

It's a game where basically you have to urm outrun your opponent I guess?
But there's alot of FML moments.

Although it isn't really that educational,

at least it taught me two things okay!

Firstly, just bc you started out as the first; it doesn't mean you are a winner.

Secondly, just bc you started out as the last; it doesn't mean you are a loser.
HAHAHAHA.

 Oh btw guess what!
It's coming to the second week of the hols alr
ASDFGHJKL
OMG WHEN DID TIME PAST SO FAST?!
I hadn't started on my holiday homework.
Whoa k this is really serious.
I need to buck up.... but I can't find any motivation.
Damn.

Been eating alot lately & idek why!!
Woke up at 7am today,
ate a bowl of dumpling noodles + a cup of milo
Went back to sleep,
woke up at 9am
I WAS HUNGRY.
A G A I N
:(
Went to Bedok MRT to meet my group members!
Had Bandung & Springroll.
It's considered my lunch I think;
since all I had in the afternoon was magnum ice cream.

Went for a run an hour ago so at least I won't feel that guilty.
But I still feel fat.
Meh.

Bro went out with his gf, 

& my parents are going off to TM for dinner
so that means this house is mine!
Woohoo.
Time to rememorise everything in Chapter 1 for Geog.

Sobs.

& here's my face in case all of you missed me ;);)

Till then xoxo

:')

Annabel
Benny
Brandon Wong
Cai Leng
Clara Tang
Denyse
Emily
Ethan
Germaine
Gordon
Hailun
Harvey
Hazel
Huiru
Isaac
James
Jee Chong
Jiawei
Jolene Kong
Jonathan
Joyin
Sumedha
Yan
Yongler

& OBVIOUSLY NOT FORGETTING;

MY TWO BESTEST-EST-EST FRIEND

CARISSA & CELINE

Wah I love you guys lah ♥♥♥, HAHAHAHAHA although 26 people shared this, but it's what makes me feel all the more blessed, bc I know there's people out there who cared hahahaha ok so thanks everyone who chipped in yeah I am damn touched ok post of what happen today coming up soon!

Special thanks to:

Hazel, Shermaine, & Sherry for celebrating my bdae with me in the morn!!!!! ♥
Carissa, & Jiawei - FOR SCARING/ SURPRISING ME IN IKEA HAHAHAHAHA,. LOVE YOU TWO LAH. :'D
(don't worry Celine I love you too)
Annabel & Shin for accompanying me, Carissa, & Jiawei in TM. ;) ;)
& lastly,
EVERYONE WHO WISHED ME.

fifteenth