Halo people so I got my average today. Hmm well, it might be considered low for others but to me it's okok lah. It's uite satisfying to know that I would be promoted. :D However, other than that, my subject results are nahh.
& honestly people who get like 65% and above they should just really stfu cause seriously nobody cares. ^_^ Like hey there you all already got so high so just diam k shh. Plus regarding my tweets, if the shoe fits, then wear it lorh. Like what Jolene had said, to those people whom think I am referring to them, you can DM/Tweet/FacebookChat/Whatsapp/Message me to clarify up matters okay? :))
I guess this post shall just be a random mix of what I had been feeling all these while + random rantings ahahah.
I feel like a lazy pig right now. My eyelids are literally closing but I feel a need to blog this today because I am really feeling down & everything these few days. Although I rarely show it out. Ohwait, like do I even show out my feelings in the first place? XD
Going out for lunch with Claudia tomorrow. It's pretty awesome that we are able to maintain contact even after we were separate into different schools. :) Unlike WeiLing whom I guess.. I drift apart from. Sighhs. No point dwelling on it now though. Heh.
K I am gonna private this blog like really soon trollollol. Maybe I can express myself better this way. Who knows?
I think I should learn to show out my feelings abit more.. & learn to stop apologizing. Ok seriously ShuQin tsk. Everyday I am just smiling laughing smiling laughing. Even if someone said something hurting, I would just brush it off. But honestly deep down inside I am hurting,. I just keep quiet so as to not blow things up. Perhaps one day if I really do breakdown, it would be my fault I guess? Ahahaha.
Ahh okay shall not rant on that, cause those thoughts are usually the ones which would bring back tons of memories & flashbacks. Which sucks. :( I need to stop turning into the person I once swore I would never become.
Met Conant today. :) Co-accidentally ofcourse. Talked about some stuffs today haha. It's weird how we used to be enemies! Can you imagine that? Okay not really enemies, more like he hated the guts out of me. & me was there like, not knowing the reason. Hah. But I am glad we are friends back again!
Less than a week left with LY. This feeling hurts. Really really badly. Next year, different class, different friends, different clique, different environment. Would I be able to cope? I am going to be 15 next year. I am going to be a freaking sec 3 next year. ASDFGHJKL NOT PREPARED.
Anyways, I guess we are drifting apart & you don't really seem to care. Lol? This feeling sucks y'know. & it's like nothing I do would ever help salvage this friendship. It's always me trying to start a convo, sometimes with you not even replying. There's some points which I can't stand about you at times too. But I guess it's a give & take. I gonna learn to forgive & forget.
However, I had been bearing with this for idk how long le. Maybe one day, one day I just suddenly decided to stop caring, then you have to then be scared, like really scared,, because I am scared of that day I become like that as well. Trollollol.
Stop messaging my friends lah dammit zzz. I fcxking hate it when people message my friends. Idk why, I think I am pretty messedup now. I am not suppose to be angry. I mean, in the first place, I don't even have the right to be angry. But I just can't stand it. Cause after all they are MY friends. Right..?
Okay to be honest, I actually dislike tons of stuff. Especially how others treat me. I am actually quite a easily pissed off person. XD The only difference is I would apologize after I flare up. :x
Imagine you are close to this person, let's say A. Then you introduced B to A. So now A & B are close as fuck & you are all left out.
That feeling sucks. Big time.
It sucks more than being lonely in a crowded room. I am serious. I have experience this situation for a number of times already, and the aftermath's quite suckish?
Idk why people can't stand being alone. Like, what's wrong with being alone. :/ For me, I don't mind being alone, it's like having some alone time is good too. :) So yeah, I don't find anything wrong with eating alone, or going home alone. Ehehe.
Anyways, I am not exactly sure about my parents. I hate how everything is just about money, money & money. My toe had been hurting since Teachers' Day. Despite several complains, they still refused to bring me to the doctor. Instead, just apply some medicine which is use for burns. It was actually healing. But that was before YooJin, Celine, JiaYing, Jonathan, Nicky, & PuiTing stepped on it. Lol. Not to mention me hitting it against several "obstacles" while walking. It had been bleeding nonstop for a couple of nights already. It is the same thing with my ankle. I sprained it in Pri 3. Lol it was a 5 years ago thing. Believe it or not, it took them 4 fucking years to bring me to the doctor ONCE. & that was because the school had to call them up during interclass cause I sprained it so badly I couldn't walk. By now my ankle was already beyond hopeless.
Maybe it's not about the money. Maybe it's about me. I am forever like some invisible fucker at home. The black sheep. My opinions are forever invalid during conversations. Honestly, like what HuiHui had said, you don't anyhow bang here bang there then come out some unwanted child (ME) whom you don't even give a fuck about.
I guess lots of people have problems too. & I am not saying my problems are like the wowtheworldgreatestproblems. But just sometimes, sometimes I reallyreally need a listening ear. Hahaha but whenever I rant, I feel like I am troubling the listeners. Plus, I feel guilty for bitching. Maybe that's why I turn to Blogging. :) Cause it would always be here for me. Yay.
Alright I shall really tune in now. Tomorrow would be a better day., because today is always better than yesterday, and tomorrow would be better than today. Ehehehe. Nights. :) xoxo
No comments:
Post a Comment